by Snapdragon



       Shinji kicked a rock, watching it skip once on the water of the still ocean, then sink beneath it's own ripples without a sound. The water distorted the reflection of the bright red sun, making the orb quiver and ripple with the clouds. Beautiful.
       He drove his hands into his pockets and scuffed his shoe against the sand. Unconsciously, he outlined the shape of a cross, then ground his heel into the center, until a harshly outlined semi-human form took shape. Lilith, horrible.
       Almost gasping when he realized what his body was doing, he hastily rubbed out the image. He dug his hands deeper into his pockets and stood on top of the erased image, either to hide it or to claim it. There was a slight breeze, and it ruffled his hair teasingly. Dreadful.
       Sighing, he sat down, still on top of the image. The land still bore the scars from the last battle to the right. And left. And behind him. So he stared ahead, into the ocean's glaring reflective face. The breeze washed against the surface, creating the undulating motion of the sun and sky. Taintless.
       The slight sound of footfalls on the sand reached his ears. He spun around. "A-Ayanami..." he said, startled that she would show up in this place, at this time. The blue-haired girl, in her school uniform, sat down next to him. Tempting.
       "Akai," she whispered almost inaudibly and stared out at the sea. Her crimson eyes clouded over for a moment with something unrecognizable, and cleared. Puzzling.
       "Ayanami?" Shinji asked, turning towards her. His brows furrowed. It was unusual for the blue-haired girl to ever evince any emotion. Disturbing.
       "akai...ga suki janai desu..." She hated red. Red, the color of blood, of passion, of anger, of hate. A uniquely human color. Terrifying.
       Shinji said nothing and turned back to the sea, acutely aware of the other's presence. He could feel her breathing, her warmth...her fear. His eyes widened slightly at this realization. Ayanami was afraid. He turned towards her, shifting his entire position, so it would not be easy to turn away. Unmerciful.
       Ayanami slowly turned her head to face him. "Akai ga suki janai desu," she said, much more forcefully this time. "Sora wa akai desu...." she trailed off. Uncharacteristic.
       Shinji stuttered an apology for intruding and turned back towards the ocean. Nothing he was expecting. Ayanami was in pain. And whatever pain it was, he was afraid to touch it. Paralyzing.


       Shinji was suddenly jolted out of his reverie by the feeling of a new, stronger AT field washing over him and the tiny pale figure trapped in the palm of Unit 01. His mind was hazy, as was his vision. All he knew was that he wanted to go back...away from some half-remembered pain. He groped for the sleep-like state he had been in, for the dream that was no where near as painful as this new reality, for some sort of escape. There was none.
       A pair of blood-red eyes that peered wistfully up at him, begging. The boy--no, angel, was staring up at him with a big smile on his face, as if there wasn't anything to be sad about.
       So like Ayanami, this boy. And the eyes...so peaceful. He accepted his fate fully. But Shinji couldn't accept it. And his mouth, pulled into the wide smile that never broke. Shinji couldn't accept that either...
       It was either this boy or the world. Shinji gritted his teeth at the decision he was forced to make, his eyes stinging. This boy who was an angel had to die. He had to, no way around it, Shinji, he has to die, you have to do it, just one quick contraction of the hand, and it's over, you really have no choice, just do it and get it over with who cares if he loved you who cares if you loved him back who cares because he betrayed and he has to die.
       The boy turned away for a second, then back. His mouth moved silently, shaping the word, "onegai," then pulled back into the broad smile. His bright eyes sparkled with something indistinguishable, then shut, as if expecting something his end soon.
       Shinji squeezed. And the angel popped. Like a doll. His head bounced against the hand of the Eva unit once and plunged into the pool of LCL beneath Lilith's still form. The red stain spread in a circle from the point of impact in the orange pool, until it resembled the reflection of the sun and sky in the ocean.