"an executive decision" by hana final fantasy VII PG-13 author's note: this is yaoi, so if that offends you, stop reading at the title. (okay, so it's more like june, but who's keeping track?) i'm writing this mostly from the perspective of rufus shin-ra, who is imho the most interesting character in FFVII (and dead sexy to boot!!). most people will probably disagree with the way i treat him, but to them i say: go back and double-check rufie's lines and try to see him for this perspective. changes things, doesn't it? ...oh yeah, and in this setting, avalanche are all dead. yersss! "Vice President Rufus. The President's son." "I've heard no one's ever seen him bleed or cry." ...So this is it, the burial. Six o'clock today. I don't know why, but I have this desire to see my father before they put him six feet under - the pasty face, sunken cheeks and chunky body I grew to hate. The one good thing about my mother is that I look like her instead of him. Anyway, I'm here in the Shin-Ra mansion, looking for the coffin, I guess. "Hey, Rufus," a guy says to me casually. I shoot him an icy glare. "PRESIDENT Rufus. Forget it again and you'll be talking to a bullet." He recoils, salutes hastily and lets me walk away. Cretins - they probably miss the old bastard. Maybe when he was avoiding spending time with his son, he was out drinking with them. I don't know, and frankly I don't care. I'm glad he's dead. I'm just looking at the stiff so I'll have something to remember him by. I'm... There's that door again, the one that goes into the wall. For god's sake, I hope there're some interesting guards down there - I'm getting kind of soft and it irritates me. I open the door and start walking down those goddamn stairs. My legs hurt. I have a headache. Lord, when did I become such a baby? At least those AVALANCHE guys bit it so I won't have to fight anyone. Finally, done with the stairs. Just as I foretold - guards all over the place and not a coffin in sight. "Here to see your father, President Rufus?" a soldier asks. I nod and pretend to be in some great amount of emotional pain. "I'd... like to be alone," I murmur softly, running my hand through my hair. The soldiers, understanding, file silently out the door. Pitying them for having to climb those stairs, I open the door right across from me. Yes, it's the crypt. ...How many coffins are in here anyway? Jesus. Okay. You're shaking. Before you start crying like a girl, Rufus, open the goddamn coffin, see your dad and get the hell out of here. I'm opening this elaborate black one which I suppose is probably his, and my eyes are burning. Why? I hated him. He hated me. It's so typical of him to leave me the Presidency when I'm just a kid. A goddamn 22-year old Shin-Ra president. An orphan for god's sake! Let me see him so I can scream at his hideous face. I want to tear him apart from limb to limb. How dare a dead guy make the President of Shin-Ra fucking Electric Power Company cry? The coffin lid clatters on the floor, and -- V. have i been awakened? has someone opened this coffin? i am slightly afraid to open my eyes, but out of obligation i do so anyway. the light hits me like an anvil. when i can focus, i - sweet lucrecia, this face that awakens me may put even your beauty to shame. pale blond hair falling over wide blue eyes framed by pretty eyelashes and ...is he blushing? he looks so alive. i cannot help but wonder what i must look like next to him. how long have i been asleep? "a-are you alive?" he gasps in astonishment. he was not looking for me? i am disappointed. R. Oh my god; there's someone in here who is definitely not President Shin-Ra! I'm a little in shock - why did this have to happen with me in a state like this? Like an idiot, I stammer, "Are you alive?" No shit he's alive, you moron, he just opened his eyes. They're deep crimson, presenting a contrast to his deathly pale skin and pitch black hair. God, I feel like writing some kind of love poem just looking at him. But - I'm Rufus, what the fuck am I doing? Tseng might be jealous. But what is this guy doing here? I mean-- "I'm alive," he whispers. The vampire-looking guy lifts himself up and steps regally out of the coffin. I'm able to see him a lot better in this light, and I almost keel over. What is someone like that doing sleeping in a coffin? *That* face needs to be broadcast all over the world. Is that a ... claw? Great. If he decides he wants to kill me, I'm going to be dust against this thing. "My..." I swallow hard and try to breathe deeply. I am so on the edge right now. "My name is Rufus, Rufus Shin-Ra." "Son of the President?" What a sexy voice. "Yes, but ..." I point at a coffin. "He was assassinated yesterday. That makes me, um, the President." He looks straight at me. i must be frightening this boy. Then he attempts to smile, which makes me cringe and want to burst into tears. My dad just died and now I'm stuck in a crypt with some crazy vampire who probably wants to kill me... Where's Scarlett? Or Tseng? Reno? Heidegger? Palmer? Hojo even? ...Daddy? V. i am trying to go easy on this boy, yet i do not think i am doing a good job. ...see, look, now he has begun to cry. i wish i could hold a conversation with him, but i have been asleep for so long, it feels strange to move and to breathe. i do not remember what a normal person would do in this situation. hojo, thanks to you, i am hardly normal. this feeling inside of me, the sickness that permeates me. makou energy. jenova's cells. and --what is this? what is this thing on my hand? a claw? did hojo do this too? look at the president. his father was a ruthless man, yet watching his son standing here weeping in front of me makes me think that he is different. maybe he can take me to hojo. besides ... he has a certain panache`. rufus shin-ra... R. I'm pathetic. I am pathetic. Look at me - the President of the entire fucking world and I'm sobbing like a schoolgirl! Moreover, I'm doing it in FRONT of someone! A stranger! Maybe he'll change into a bat and kill me. It would probably be less embarrassing. Here, I'll just make an effort. "If you even try to touch me..." -- god my voice sounds pitiful -- "...I'll have half of Shin-Ra on your ass before you can even blink." This isn't helping. "You'll be so pumped full of lead--" V. lucrecia, you taught me to be compassionate. i will keep your memory alive. i will never forget you. i take this president boy in my arms, trying not to hurt him with the claw on my hand. feeling awkward, i hold him against me unsurely. "you don't need to be afraid ... rufus. cry if you need to." my voice is so emotionless, it pains me. R. What is he doing? Is he -- shit, he's hugging me (I think). That claw is pretty warm, considering it's metal. My heart rate has gone up a couple thousand beats. Fuck, I can feel my pulse - it's so loud, I bet he can too. Half of me likes this, and the other half hates being treated like a kid. I'm not... I'm not a little boy. I'm 22 years old, I ... I don't even know who this guy is! See, I can stop crying. I just did. Let me wipe my face a little bit and ... that's better. I push him away nicely, and he crosses his arms over his chest (god, he's skinny). "Who are you? What are you doing here, anyway?" "My name is Vincent. I was asleep in this coffin." Vincent, huh? That's pretty. I don't really want to antagonize him, but... "Sleeping in a coffin is kind of bizarre. Why would you do that?" "I was..." He shifts and stares at the wall. Nice profile. "...atoning for my sins." "Sins? What--" "Do you know of Hojo?" Hojo. Sure I know Hojo. When I was a kid, I had to keep going to his stupid lab. Blood transfusions, X-rays and the inevitable Jenova cell thing. I threatened to beat the crap out of him if he put that damn crazy thing's cells in me, and he deemed me 'unworthy.' ...Yeah, and he did some other stuff to me, too, but I've made an effort to forget about that. "Sure. He's the head of the Chemistry Division." I pause. "Why? Do you know him?" "Hojo put me here. I have been sleeping for 29 years because of him." V. i hate hojo. i hate that man. he stole my lucrecia away from me. he put me into this coffin. he destroyed my body. look what he has done to me! what is this metal claw on my hand? why am i so frail? when i was a turk, i could have brought down president shin-ra himself, and now i can hardly stand up. he gave me these torqued cells, this frame, these scars. i must leave this coffin and find hojo. i will hunt him down. i will have my revenge. R. 29 years?! How old is this guy anyway? And how could Hojo do something like that? God dammit, I've always hated Hojo anyway. "Rufus." Vincent looks at me again - straight through me. "I need to find Hojo. Do you know where I might find him?" "He's in the Chemistry Division, as always..." God, Vincent is intimidating. "...but you can't just GO there. You don't have an ID; the guards will have you down in five seconds." "Eventually I will come to Hojo, no matter what may impede." He really doesn't like Hojo, does he? Can't blame him. "I do not know where I will stay until then, but -" "You could stay with me!" WHAT THE FUCK? Where did that come from? I'm drooling and blushing at the same time. What kind of girl am I turning into? Okay, NOW Vincent's going to kill me. ... So why is he smiling? Gently? Agreeably? "I think that would be my best option." It must have been an omen, because all of a sudden I feel much better. The silence between us escalates. I shuffle, fold my hands, stare at the ceiling, do basically anything to avoid staring at him. Yes, Tseng will slaughter me when I get back, but so will Reno and Scarlett. We're hiring that new Turk anyway, so they can go play with her instead. Wait - why am I talking like Vincent is mine? Because I'm the President of Shin-Ra and I get whatever I want? ...Does that mean I want him? V. rufus is kind. i can see that. he does his best to hide it, under this brusque macho layer and his title of president, but i can tell that he is a gentle boy. a dreamer in the wrong place at the wrong time. i have taken a shine to him, although i have only known him for about ten minutes. this is probably because of how much he reminds me of lucrecia. that blend of cynicism and innocence... they have the same eyes, as blue as day. oh, lucrecia... R. Vincent suddenly turns and opens the coffin beside his. My father, President Emeritus Shin-Ra, lies in it, his arms folded statutely across his chest. I don't know why - I never do - but the sight just brings the tears back to my eyes. Lord! I am the PRESIDENT! Not some pansy little boy playing dress-up! That must be it. I just forgot my coffee this morning. That, or I've been spending too much time with Tseng. He IS a bit of a crybaby. Kind of makes me wish all those goddamn plebians who say I never shed a tear could see me now. Look how hard I'm trying to get my mind off the corpse in front of me! "There is your father," he says softly. "Would you like to pay your last respects?" I shake my head and take a deep breath. I guess I don't want to see him after all. I'm ... glad he's dead. I swear. Vincent tears a portion of his crimson cloak off and hands it to me uncomfortably. A handkerchief, I guess. I dab my eyes with it and smile at him in gratitude. "I'll take you home," I say, trying to sound bright. "We can talk there." He nods, and somewhere deep inside me I wonder what the fuck I'm doing. Well... I just met the most beautiful man in the world, and he's staying with me. My father may be dead (nonono don't cry again goddammit) but I can handle the power shift. After all, I was vice president before this (although I never did anything). I am President Rufus Shin-Ra, and I swear I'm okay. ***** i walk this building with bitter memories. when i was a turk, i walked these halls often with the others - lucrecia, nevada and edge. i met hojo in this hall. that door, right there - the office where i was enlisted. i met president shin-ra there. at the time i scorned his family and company for their corporate greed, but i am beginning to take that back. rufus doesn't notice - he just strides on ahead like the confident young man he is. i respect him for that; his eyes are puffy and red, and it would take two seconds to make him cry again, yet he is confident. i love boys like that. there is hojo's office. rufus glances at me and grins assuredly. i would love to storm in there right now with this pistol, but i would rather see if my estimations about rufus are correct. R. Great- Hojo's office. I'm sick of that place. So Hojo's the one who put Vince in that coffin? I'm not surprised. That guy will mess with anyone - even the Ancient and that goddamn dog. I remember how much Tseng liked that Ancient. Me, I thought she was kind of simple. Not complex and dark like I'm sure Vincent is. I - oh, look at me! I'm acting like a lovesick dog. Oh, here's my room. Awesome. Now we can talk! I open the door and attempt to stride on in when I notice -- One bed. Only one bed? Oh lord. V. there is one bed in this room. .... i suppose i will take the floor. R. Okay, Rufus. Okay. Calm down. Sit on the bed. Let Vincen - oh god. He's sitting next to you on the bed. Breathe deep. Open your mouth. Talk! Yes! "So, uh, Vincent ... tell me about yourself?" He blinks, taken aback I suppose. Did I say something wrong? Oh god, Rufus, you idiot, you pathetic little -- " ... Twenty-nine years ago, I was a Turk. I patrolled with three others - Nevada, Edge, and ... Lucrecia. I fell in love with Lucrecia." Fell in love with a girl? Does that mean he doesn't swing my way? Curse the fates. Vincent looks away sadly. "... We had a wonderful relationship, until I proposed to her. She was already engaged to Hojo. Hojo could have used any of the Shin-Ra girls - he just chose Lucrecia because he knew it would hurt me. He ... married her, impregnated her ... and she went along with it because she felt it was her duty to science." It takes me sixteen seconds to fight back the urge to reach out and console him. "...Hojo implanted the cells of Jenova into the unborn child. It mutated inside of her. I told him right from the start that I was against experiments on humans, but he merely used it against me. She ... gave birth ... never got to see her child. She disappeared not long after." "Vincent, I..." I can't think of anything to say to this. I feel like crying. "I tried to kill him, but he got the advantage and shot me," Vincent continues in a monotone voice. He gingerly touches the fabric of his shirt, slightly below his shoulder. "While I was unconscious, he altered my body - hence the claw - and put me in stasis in that coffin. I have not aged, fortunately, or else I would be 56 instead of 27." 27. That's not too old. (Too old for what?) Vincent stares at the ceiling, his ebony hair falling back acros his gracefully sculpted shoulders. "I... I'm so sorry, Vincent." The words won't come out. "But ... why are you telling all this to me?" V. why am i telling this to him? i suppose it is because i believe he is a good person. but i cannot explain it to myself. i have never told this story to anyone. no one has ever asked me about it, either. it feels strange to ... let it all go. R. He turns to pierce my eyes with his gaze. God, he's beautiful. "Because I trust you." He trusts me? ME? The President of Shin-Ra? That's ... that is really, really incredible. "So," he begins softly, hands folded in his lap, "tell me about yourself, Rufus Shin-Ra." For some reason - probably because I *love* the way he says my name - I blush. "Um... there isn't a lot to say. My dad just died, my mum died a long time ago..." Okay, I'm on a roll! "...I'm fucking half the employees of Shin-Ra, I just bought a pistol, my dog's in obedience school and I think you're the most beautiful man I've ever seen." WHAT?! V. rufus is attracted to me? ...not even lucrecia has had the audacity to tell me something like that. out of almost nowhere, i am filled with appreciation for this boy. something fills me that i have not felt for twenty-nine years, and -- R. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly be more paralyzed, Vincent leans over, places a monumentally strong claw-arm around my waist and kisses me. My heart stops beating, my lungs freeze up, and all I can feel is the grasp of his hand on my waist and the heat of his face. I'm kind of shocked so I forget to move my tongue for a second, but then I make up for lost time. I hope. God, I've never done this before - not even with Tseng or Scarlett. I mean, with them, it's all about the sex, there's no passion, but ... I'm a little scared. Slowly, slowly, I reach out and place my (shaking) hands on his shoulders. ...And now my back is giving out and we are falling ever so slowly onto the bed, which promises to be very ... um, promising. Oh, oh, oh no, my back just gave out and Vincent lands on top of me, his leg slipped between mine like a pencil holder. His eyes open in surprise, but he doesn't break the kiss (thank god). He lifts a hand to gently brush the hair from my eyes. The touch of his fingers on my forehead is like water on a fire. A little moan escapes from my throat; these sensations are really, really overpowering, almost narcotic. Our eyes meet - again, like water and fire, only mine are on fire too and his are blazing (with what? What is that? Lust?) "Rufus," he murmurs, then closes his eyes and sits up. I am a little too shellshocked to get up, so I stay in the same prostrate position. "I'm ... sorry?" I offer, pathetically. He shakes his head. "It is my fault." He looks to the side, his eyes full of pain. "... I don't know what I am trying to do, with my body like this." "Vincent, I like your claw. It's so ... powerful." Okay, that was pathetic. He shakes his head. "I guess ... you ... reminded me of her, for a second." Oh. Is that it? For the fifth time today, I want to burst out in tears like a little girl. No - I want him. I want him bad. I've never felt like this with anyone; I mean, with Tseng, everything was so melodramatic I couldn't take it seriously, and Scarlett never really turned me on anyway. Reno pretends I'm Rude, Rude pretends I'm Reno, Zack was into that bondage business ... Vincent, look at me. Goddammit, look at me! I'm not a goddamn toy president... "No. You reminded me of you." He says it so quietly that I almost pass it off as my imagination. Feeling empty, I sit up and stare at my feet. I suppose I would have kept doing that if he hadn't then turned to face me, lifted my head up and ran his hand gently down the side of my jaw. FUCK. Does he know what a turn-on that is for me? I'm shaking again, practically having a seizure I want him so much. But he doesn't move, just stares at me as if he's trying to learn something from my eyes. V. rufus. rufus shin-ra. he is beautiful, and he inspires in me the basest of emotions. yet he is not simple, which i can tell just by the secrets in his eyes - it is the way he acts that is simple. for the first time in my life, i think i might like it more that way. the other first is the understanding i immediately feel as i watch him. rufus is lonely and misunderstood, which i suppose can be said about 90% of the population - but for him it is different. he is the president of shin-ra, a title which implies that he does not care about people. the fact that he does care about people is damnable in his profession. he hides it behind a wall of apathy, egotism and power. what he really wants is someone who understands, someone who will not take him at face value, but he does not know how to find this in people. therefore he casts people away, and the ones he cannot hide from, he shows this surface wall to. i feel ... pity, for the situation he is in. he cannot ask for help - he is the president of shin-ra, to do that is to show weakness. all he can do is hope that someone will understand. is that someone me? he has not been afraid to show his true side to me so far. does he trust me in return? very well. i will keep your secret - and love you all the more for it. R. "Rufus," he asks me suddenly, in that almost inaudible tone of voice, "are you alone?" I clutch my knees to my chest uncomfortably. "Well... my father died... I never had a mother ... and everyone in Midgar hates me." "What about the Shin-Ra executives you sleep with?" "They're only in it for the physical aspect." I mumble bitterly. "None of them really know me. None of them really care about me. They don't want love, just sex." I'm aware that this is so not true for Tseng, but Tseng's a crazy asshole anyway... "Is love what you want?" Still the same low voice. I don't know why he's asking these questions, but the least I can do is answer them. "Yes. At least I think so. I don't know, I've never been in love." My face is turning red. I wait expectantly for another question, and when one doesn't arrive I tilt my head shyly to look at him. He seems deep in thought. V. ...he is an innocent, yet at the same time he isn't. this is irresistible. R. I open my mouth to ask him if he's all right, but before I even realise what's happening, my mouth is suddenly being used for something else. This time, I'm into it instead of sitting here like a statue. I want Vincent to feel just as good as I do. Okay, so I'm fine with just the first three words of that sentence, but Vincent is already important to me. I'm only beginning to realise just how important. And lord is he good at this... Vincent breaks the kiss and stares at me, adoration etched all over his elegantly-shaped face. "I think I am," he breathes, sending a riotous shiver down my back. (In the meantime, I'm valiantly trying to ignore the painfully throbbing area near the end of my back.) He thinks he's what? In l– oh god. Oh god. He hardly knows me, how could he draw a conclusion like that?... Suddenly, for some reason I remember a conversation I'd had with Scarlett last year. "Rufus, I feel like I've known you forever," she had said, which I replied to with "We've barely talked, how can you say that?" "Because it's so easy to find out who you are." "...it's so easy to find out who you are." Is it really that simple? I can tell that Vincent is perceptive. I know he won't incriminate me with it, but it's a little frightening to think that he might already know me. These thoughts temporarily lose focus and scatter into a puff of delicate tingles, as I feel the buttons separating on my shirt and a pair of sexy lips on my collarbone. Definitely love this sensation. Am definitely falling for this man (especially as the icy fingers on my back spread out and I'm arching in a fit of something and one thing leads to another and ...) Yeah, I think I can lose myself here and pick up the pieces later. ********** V. i feel so mothering. he is asleep in my arms after all that, trusting me with his life even now when he is so exhausted and vulnerable. the last time i let someone sleep in my arms, they left less than a year later. the last time i became this close to someone, they went through unspeakable suffering at the hands of another. yet this time i am prepared. i will not let him go, literally or figuratively. i hope he will not wake up not remembering any of this. but it is best to let him sleep. he has had a difficult day. and hojo ... i have not forgiven you ... but i think, with time, i may forget you. R. I fall asleep, and in my dreams I think of Vincent. Vincent in my mother's dress, making me breakfast and taking care of me when I'm sick and rocking me to sleep with love. Vincent in my father's suit, playing ball with me and showing me his office with pride. Of course these things never happened, but hey, I'm dreaming - I can't help that. Finally, I can drift off feeling safe, without worrying about my father screaming at me for sleeping in or Tseng visiting me in the middle of the night in tears. Vincent will take care of me - I know he will. God, I'm such a co-dependent but with someone like this, who wouldn't be? I feel so melodramatic that I'm probably crying in my sleep. But I'm not worried - I know he'll wipe my tears away in the morning. Hey - for my first executive decision, I think I did a damn good job. *finis*