*just don't ask about my mental state while writing this, heh*


A Day in the Life of Jesus


As night settled around Koji and Izumi's spacious house, Jesus awoke 
groggily from his slumber upon their leather sofa.  Feeling a rumble in his 
tummy, he made his way to the cool, tiled kitchen and his food dish.  
Finding it empty, he emitted a low grumble of annoyance from his throat.  
They had forgotten to give him his supper!!  He raised his eyes, scanning 
the counter and found a neglected can of dog food there, a can opener 
sitting beside it.  He huffed, looking at the counter forlornly.  It looked 
like they were going to feed him, but where were they now?

He scampered back out into the living room and spotted one of the Izumi's 
old soccer balls that he had designated as a toy for Jesus.  He walked over 
and began to bat about and knaw on the soccer ball gingerly, hoping it would 
satisfy his hunger a bit.  What he really wanted to do was go for a run in 
the park and terrorize some squirrels, but it seemed every time he wanted to 
do something, the Izumi and the other one, the Koji, were otherwise 
occupied.  After drooling on the soccer ball for a few minutes he spotted 
his favourite amusement, a bedraggled looking condom man squeaky toy.  He 
walked over and picked it up in his mouth, hearing the toy wheeze 
pathetically into the silence of the darkened living room. He chucked it 
away from him with a bored gesture and made his way over to the stairs to 
the second floor.  He would have to find his masters if he wanted any 
attention.  Padding up the stairs carefully, he spotted one of the Izumi's 
t-shirts lying on a landing.

Hmmm. It wasn't like the Izumi to leave his clothes lying around.  Jesus had 
watched him clean things around the house many times and pick up after that 
slovenly guy, the Koji.

"He is even messier than me!"  Jesus thought to himself in disgust.
" He never helps the Izumi with anything.  He doesn't even give me my dinner 
unless told by the Izumi….Nasty guy…I don't really like him…."

Jesus nosed curiously at the shirt for a few seconds and then continued on 
up the stairs.  As he padded down the hall on silent paws toward the 
bedroom, he began to discern noises from the gloom and the telltale tone of 
the Izumi's voice could be heard.  He brightened and continued his way to 
the bedroom but halted as his front paws became tangled in a pair of pants 
lying in his way.  What was this!?  The Izumi's pants were lying here.  He 
started to wonder if the Koji wasn't doing something mean to the Izumi 
again.  Jesus had seen some of the things he did.  Sometimes he would grab 
the Izumi and hold him down and Izumi would make the pain noise.  It sounded 
like the pain noise….sometimes it was just more like the play wrestling that 
Jesus liked to play with Izumi.  The one called Koji would always watch at 
glare when they played together, or when the Izumi would play ball with him 
in the park.  Jesus sometimes tried to get the Koji to play with him, but he 
usually wasn't interested, or would toss the soccer ball weakly a couple 
times then ignore him.

Coming out of his doggy reverie, he padded to the door of the Koji and the 
Izumi's sleeping place. It was dark inside and he nosed the door further 
open, squinting in.  He could make out the forms of the Koji and the Izumi 
on the big bed.  He perked his ears when he heard the Koji and the Izumi 
making more noises.  He couldn't really tell if they were the pain noises or 
not.  These times seemed to confuse him.  Suddenly he heard one of the happy 
noises and knew that what they were most likely doing was wrestling without 
him.  First they didn't feed him his dinner and now they were wrestling 
without him!!  He wondered at all this and felt a little rejected.  Ever 
since he had come here to this place from the Katsumi's place, they had 
seemed to like wrestling without him at times, especially at night like 
this.  And the Koji would never let him sleep in the big bed like the 
Katsumi always had.  He always had to sleep in the little Jesus bed 
downstairs and couldn't even sleep in the big sleeping place.  He stepped 
into the room a little further and watched the strange wrestling with sad 
eyes.  They were both making happy, louder noises now.  The Koji was moving 
on top of the Izumi and the Izumi was clutching at him.


" Annnhh!  Kooojiii!  Mmmmm."

"  Unngh Izumi…..I want more….more…"

Jesus looked on in horror from the foot of the bed.  It seemed like the Koji 
was gnawing on the Izumi in strange places all over.  He wondered if he was 
hurting the Izumi but the Izumi made no pain noises.  Suddenly he saw the 
Koji look over at him with narrowed eyes.  The Koji snarled at him.

" Arrgh!  Izumi…..that mutt is watching us again.  What is WITH that damn 
dog?"

Izumi looked over and laughed.

" He probably wants to play.  I think he thinks we are playing."

" Well he is not joining this game!" Koji rebuked.
" Get outta here you!  Go!"  Koji waved the dog away in annoyance.

Jesus yipped back defiantly and grabbed at something from the floor quickly 
dragging it out of the room with him unnoticed.  He raced down the stairs 
with it and flopped onto his doggy bed to sulk.  What he had taken with him 
was Koji's prosthetic arm, which Koji had carelessly left on the floor in 
his haste to get Izumi in bed.   Jesus tested the arm with his teeth gently, 
to see if it would make a good chew toy.  He discovered with glee that the 
arm was somewhat pliable and rubbery on the outside and the skin coating was 
tough, but could be chewed effectively for some time.  He started with the 
smaller fingers, gnawing away happily and with a naughty impulse, managed to 
tug the index finger free.  He chewed at the artificial skin and wire of the 
ruined finger and the then flung it out of his mouth across the room with a 
loud bark of victory.  It landed on top of the T.V.  He set to the task of 
getting the thicker forearm into shape for better chewing and soon the arm 
was covered in drool and showed the signs of his efforts quite noticeably.  
After a while he tired of his little misbehaviour and grew bored of the arm. 
  An image of the Koji snarling at him came into his mind then.  The Koji 
always snarled at him and was mean.  Maybe it was time to get back at the 
Koji.  Jesus laughed to himself and dragged the arm with him over to the 
screen door that led into the backyard.  He nosed and pawed at the door 
until he opened it wide enough to get through and walked out onto the lawn.

He then began digging at the ground, flinging the dirt behind him as he 
worked.  When he finally judged that he had a big enough hole, he flung the 
arm down into it and began to kick the dirt over it with his hind legs, 
burying it.  He smiled to himself and yipped.  No one would ever be able to 
find it now!!  He completed his little gesture by urinating on the dirt over 
the hole, claiming the spot as his own.  He scampered back into the house, 
already feeling better.  He had completely forgotten about his hunger in his 
new quest for vengeance against the Koji.

He nosed through the living room again, looking for something new.  He 
walked to the coffee table in front of the sofa and saw some papers lying 
there.  Jesus didn't know really what they were, but he knew these 
particular papers had been here for some time, and he had seen the Koji 
doing things with them often.

In actuality, these papers were Koji's latest song composition that he had 
been working on for some time and as usual, he had carelessly left them 
lying around.

Sniffing the Koji's scent on the papers, Jesus pushed them to the ground and 
began to chew on them angrily, drooling on them and ripping them to shreds.  
They were ruined in short order.  Not feeling statisfied, Jesus padded back 
up the stairs, hearing the renewed sounds of the Koji and the Izumi's 
wrestling match.  He saw the door to the sleeping place was now shut 
however, so he walked into the cleaning place across the hall.

Upon entering, he found a great prize.  Lying strewn on the floor were some 
of the Koji's clothes.  Koji had of course left them lying there on the 
floor as he had showered earlier, being too lazy to pick them up and 
assuming that Izumi eventually would.  Jesus nosed through the pile of 
clothes and came across a shirt that he picked up in his teeth.  Unbeknownst 
to him, and to Koji's ill luck, this shirt was Koji's favourite and most 
expensive Versace shirt.  In an exhilarated fit, Jesus ripped and chewed at 
the shirt, reducing it to a slobbery, torn rag on the floor, never to be 
worn again.

Yipping in triumph, he ran back downstairs, looking for another object of 
the Koji's to wreak havoc on.  Jesus retired to his doggy bed for a few more 
minutes, trying to contrive in his mind the final insult he would give to 
the Koji.  After thinking hard for a while, he got an idea in that doggy 
brain of his.
He was remembering the times that he had gone to some far away places in the 
big moving machines that made big noises.  A few times the Izumi had wanted 
him to go with them to a place with sand and big water or to some strange 
larger parks.  He loved the feeling of the wind on his face as he put his 
head out of the window.  But he was only ever allowed to go in one of the 
big machines that make big noises.  It was the one he had heard the Koji and 
the Izumi call "jeep".  The other ones seemed to be the Koji's and even the 
Izumi didn't go in them much.  He made his way through the backyard and 
around to the garage which in his great luck had been left open.  He walked 
along past the machines until he spotted a shiny machine in the corner.  He 
knew this was the one that the Koji always came home in and he was never 
allowed near it.  But something was different about the machine this time.  
He rested his paws on the side of the car, and then hooked them over the top 
of the door.  The top of the machine seemed to be gone this time and it was 
open to him.

Jesus jumped in with glee and sniffed around the car at the leather 
interior.  There was more junk thrown in the backseat that he noticed, but 
he ignored it this time.  He moved over to the driver side and sat in the 
seat, feeling very naughty.  He chewed at the steering wheel a little 
gingerly but didn't like the taste of it at all.   He was growing 
disinterested in this little prank, not really knowing what he could do.  He 
finally decided to do something that always made the Others mad.  He pooped 
on the driver's seat.  Laughing in his dog way over his planned defecation, 
he jumped out of the car and made his way back into the house, settling into 
his doggy bed for the night with a satisfied smile.


***********************************************

The Next Morning


Koji and Izumi woke the next morning to the sun shining brightly into the 
bedroom.  Koji sat up groggily but couldn't help but grin.  They had quite 
the active night.  As he moved to the edge of the bed he heard Izumi yawning 
behind him.  Izumi got up, throwing on a robe.  He seemed to be in high 
spirits.  Koji smiled at him.

" I am going to go down and make us a nice breakfast.  You have to get ready 
for work." Izumi announced as he pointed at the bedside alarm clock.

Koji groaned and made his way sleepily to the bathroom. He pushed open the 
door but was soon reeling in shock at the sight before him.  With wide eyes 
he reached down touching the remnants of his favourite Versace shirt, which 
was now in slobbery ruin.  There could only be one culprit.  Koji roared as 
he clutched the shirt in his hand, then flung it into the nearby garbage 
can.

" AHHHHHH!  My favourite shirt!!!! That shirt cost 300 dollars!!!  BASTARD 
DOG!"

Izumi paused on his way to the kitchen at the sound of Koji's beligerent 
roaring.  Soon after, Koji came racing down the stairs.

" Your dog totalled my Versace shirt that was in the bathroom!! Ripped to 
shreds!!  Where is he!!?? I will kill him!"

"What!?" Izumi asked, incredulous.
" Slow down….Jesus wrecked your shirt?"

"Yes!  It is absolutely ruined!!" Koji confirmed.

Izumi frowned in thought.

" Wow, I can't believe he did that.  Well, I am sorry Koji.  Let's go get 
you a new one this weekend.  Not like you can't afford it.  I guess that 
will teach you not to leave your clothes lying all over the house."

Koji growled again, not really appeased and went back upstairs to shower.  
Izumi continued on to the kitchen to fix an elaborate breakfast and as he 
did he spotted Jesus in the corner of the kitchen.  Looking to the counter 
he saw that he had forgotten to feed him last night.  Izumi opened the can 
of dog food and Jesus yipped happily.

" Oh Jesus!  I am soooo sorry puppy!  I forgot to feed you your dinner!  
That must be why you ripped up Koji's shirt huh?  I won't forget again, ok?" 
  Izumi crooned at the dog and petted him lovingly as Jesus licked his face. 
  Izumi chuckled and returned to his cooking preparations.

Some time later after Koji was showered and dressed, he made his way back 
downstairs, the smells of a delicious breakfast luring him on.  As he passed 
the sofa he spotted the next act of vengeance on the floor near the table.  
His face turned several shades of red through his rage.

" Nooooooooo!!!!!!!  My composition!!!!  I have been working on this for 
like a month.  That fucking dog!!!  If I find it I will wring its neck!   
Izumi!!!!"

Izumi came running back out into the living room at the Koji's yelling and 
saw the ruined papers on the floor.  He stared in amazement.  He couldn't 
believe Jesus had suddenly acted so badly.  How did he know about that 
composition?  Maybe it was random.

" Wait Koji!  Try to stay calm.  I know this is bad, but I think I know why 
Jesus did this.  I was careless last night and I forgot to feed him.  He was 
hungry and probably looking for something to chew on.  It is my fault.  When 
we kicked him out of the bedroom last night it probably made him more angry. 
And of course, you conveniently leave all your crap lying around for him to 
get at."

" This is turning into the day from hell.  I have a photoshoot today. I need 
to get going soon."

They both walked into the kitchen and as they did, Jesus ran past, tearing 
for the living room.  Koji snarled again, cursing at the misbehaved dog.

"  Ah this has totally ruined my day.  It will take me forever to rewrite 
all that.  Izumiiiiii."

Koji leaned over and wrapped his arms around Izumi, trying to kiss his neck.

" Izumiii, give me a kiss to make me feel better?" Koji begged in a whiny 
voice.

Izumi scowled at him and pushed him off.

" Get offa me, you oaf!  God, you will use any excuse to grope me!"

Koji laughed and they continued to eat their breakfast.  Afterwards, Koji 
got up looking confused, and then addressed Izumi.

" Izumi, have you seen my arm? I need it for the shoot today and I couldn't 
find it upstairs…"

"What the hell?" Izumi asked angrily
" Am I your maid or something?  Don't you even remember where you left it?  
I am always picking up after you." He sighed.

Izumi got up and walked into the living room, deciding to help Koji look for 
it so he wouldn't be late.  As he scanned the living room he spotted 
something lying on top of the T.V and to his shock, he realized that is was 
a dismembered finger…..

" Oh shit….." He whispered, snatching the finger up,
" Jesus didn't…..he wrecked the arm."  Izumi shoved the finger into the 
pocket of his robe, deciding to keep it from Koji.  He would just have to 
make something up for now, until he found the arm himself.

" Koji….I will look for the arm today ok?" He turned to Koji as he entered 
the living room.
" You have to get to work.  You have that spare one there, right?"

"Yeah," Koji answered
" Well, see you later baby."  Koji walked over and clutched Izumi to him, 
before he could react, sliding a wet tongue into his mouth.  Izumi blushed 
furiously, pulling away.

" Annhh!  Ok, ok..bye."

Koji grinned at him and then took off in the direction of the garage.   
Izumi sat down on the couch with a sigh, looking over to Jesus who was 
perched on his dog bed, with something like a smile on his face.

" Jesus! You have been a very bad dog.  Why are you ruining Koji's things?  
Where did you put his arm?"

It seemed strange to Izumi that only Koji's things had been ruined, and the 
choices Jesus had made….Was it all so random?  It seemed strangely 
premeditated…

His reverie was broken shortly thereafter by a horrible enraged shout from 
the garage and Koji came racing back into the house, an expression of livid 
anger on his face.  It looked like he was trying to hold his pants away from 
his ass.  It looked strangely comical to Izumi and he couldn't help smirk, 
stifling his laughter with great difficulty.

" What the hell now!?" He asked.

" Oh my GOD, OH MY GOD!!! That fucking dog is going!!!!!  I am getting that 
loser Shibuya on the phone right now!!!!" Koji roared.

With a disgusted expression, Koji flung his pants off, holding them away 
from him with a disgusted expression.  He turned the pants around so that 
Izumi could see.

" Ughhh!!! What is that!?" Izumi exclaimed.

" That dog….." Koji began, shaking with anger.
" shit on my car seat!!!!!"

Sure enough, the seat of Koji's pants were stained an ugly brown with 
remnants of dog poop still clinging to them. They also emanated quite an 
odious smell.

"  Ewww!  Get those away!" Izumi yelled, holding his nose.
" I can't believe that Jesus did that!  How did he get in there?" Izumi 
asked in a shocked voice.

" Arrghhh!!!! I left the top down.  ONE TIME!!!!  I didn't figure he would 
shit in there!  I swear I will get Shibuya to clean it up!" Koji ranted.

He hurried upstairs to change into a fresh pair of pants, mumbling something 
about how he would be late for sure.  He was still livid when he came back 
down.

" It is a good thing that dog is not in sight or I would kill it with my 
bare hands!  You know how long it will take to clean up my car? How will I 
ever get the smell outta there!?  I HATE that DOG!"

Koji then crashed out of the house dramatically, yelling behind him
"This isn't over!"

When Koji was finally gone, Izumi couldn't help but chuckle.

" Jesus, you are so bad!!  I can't believe it!  But I guess it will teach 
Koji to be a little more careful, huh?"

Izumi cleaned the kitchen up and then readied himself for the day, coming 
back down into the living room to find Jesus waiting.

" Awwww.  I think something bad will come of all this.  Shibuya will 
probably have to pick you up.  Koji is so intolerant.  I will miss you.  I 
have to admit all this has been kinda funny."  Izumi smirked.

" Let's go on a walk in the park!!"  He grabbed the old soccer ball and the 
leash from by the door, Jesus running eagerly up behind.

***********************************************

When he arrived back from the park, Izumi decided to kick the ball around in 
the backyard for a bit with Jesus.  It was then that he discovered the new 
and unpleasant smelling hole in the ground.

Realization hit him and he glanced at Jesus.

" Soooo, this is where Koji's arm is isn't it?  In that hole?"

Jesus seemed to look at him beseechingly and yipped several times.  He knew 
he was right.   Sighing, Izumi sat on the ground as Jesus jumped on him, 
staring at the hole.  He knew he would eventually have to retrieve the 
thing, before Koji came back home.  Before he could think any further on the 
discovery, he felt the laughter bubbling up inside of him. Before he knew 
it, he was rolling on the ground in hysterics, tears pouring from his eyes.  
He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed so hard.  Despite 
everything, the situation was funny and he felt guilty.

" Well you certainly keep things interesting Jesus.  I will miss you."


The End