Crawl Away: Chapter 2

       Since he was a child, he had known that life would be filled with one kind of pain or another.  Strangely, the realization did not come to him when he was lying on the floor of the small cage of the human market that stank of sweat and urine.  nor did it come to him when men reached through the bars to inspect him, speaking to him with words he did not understand.  Nor did it come with his first vicious beating after he had bitten the man who had purchased his virginity. The meaning of his life had come around full circle when Kanryu paused by the small pen that had been his prison for two years.

    "Green eyes...?" Kanryu said to the man who had been his escort through the market.  "He has a Japanese face." Kanryu crouched down to look closer at the small boy.

    "I am not too certain about his bloodline...the man who made the purchase didn't document it.  His mother is of European descent, I know for sure."

    Aoshi made himself smaller in the corner of the pen when Kanryu reached through the bars to touch him. "How much does he cost?"

    The man shook his head.

    "I was told he's not for sale.  The boss rather liked him...  He's also very popular with some of our older clients."

    Kanryu looked at Aoshi a little longer then stood.

    "Arrange the buy," Kanryu said and straightened his suit.

    "But he is not..."

    "Arrange it," Kanryu said, then turned and continued his inspection along the rest of the hall.  "I leave in an hour. He will be with me when I leave."

    Aoshi understood the conversation between the men, but none of it made sense to him.  He pulled the thin blanket around him and curled in a small ball.  If he made himself small enough, Aoshi told himself once, maybe he will disappear.  It never worked.  The pen door opened, and he was plucked from the corner by strong hands.

    "I don't want to go..." Aoshi whispered.

    "You'll be all right, Aoshi..." the man assured him as he was carried in the elder guard's arms through the labyrinth of cells and pens with other children.  "You will have a new life.  Do what you can to escape the future your mother sold you into."

    Aoshi was carried through several flights of stairs, and then brought up to the topside of the building.  When the doors were pushed open, the sunlight stung his eyes.  Aoshi felt himself being lowered to stand on his own.  A larger hand took one of his and started to walk him toward the chopper resting on the marked pad.

    "Call me daddy," his new father said to him.

    "Why did you buy me...?"

    Kanryu looked down at the small boy and smiled.  "Did you understand what kind of place you've just left?"

    Aoshi nodded.

    "All you need to know, dear boy, is that I've taken you from that fate," Kanryu crouched down to look at Aoshi at the eye level. "You belong to me.  I can love you just as easily as I can throw you away, back into a place like this one.  As long as you love only me, I will give you a good life."

    Aoshi nodded again and wrapped his small arms around Kanryu's neck.

    You're lying....



   Aoshi woke suddenly, his eyes moist with tears that were almost shed.  It took him a few minutes to collect his bearing, and when he did, he wished for unconsciousness again.  His lower body was still burning with pain.  The recollection of Kanryu's rage made him recoil inside--that was only the beginning.

    Aoshi flinched when a damp, warm cloth swabbed over the welt marks that lined the back of his thighs.

    "Aoshi..." the old, kind voice said to him.  "You must learn not to upset Kanryu-sama so much..."

    "I know..."

    The cloth swept over the bruised inner thighs and Aoshi heard a sigh of disapproval from the old servant.

    "Every time this happens to you, it upsets me."

    "I'm sorry, Nakamura-san."

    "He may not kill you this time, but his anger is unpredictable.  Why do you challenge his authority like this?"

    Aoshi pushed himself up slowly, took a few long breaths and turned to sit upright on the bed.

    "I don't have any answers for you." Aoshi finally said.

    "Then just tell me why you want to give up what you have," the old man was angry.  "You are the only child he had adopted to remain with him--"

    "He did not adopt me, Nakamura-san," Aoshi said sharply.  " There's nothing for me to lose.  I have nothing."

    "He loves you.  You are the only one he has ever kept.  Aoshi, I don't want to see you being sent one of his whorehouses.  Do you remember what he said?"

    "You know what he used to tell me? 'It is better to have fear rather than love, if you can't have both.'" Aoshi said.  "If he truly is capable of love, Nakamura-san, then he would have left me in the black market to die."

    I left work early to have dinner with an informant by the street handle of "Little Joe".  He was indeed a small man; 5'3 and might have weighed 100 pounds soaking wet.  I had known him since my Homicide department days actually.  I had investigated a couple of his handiwork when he used to freelance for the Yakuza.  He's very good at what he does--probably the best in the business.  Then he disappeared from the scene for nearly a year when I was about to close a case on him.  I had thought he fled the country but instead, he had turned informant for the cops to avoid the confirmed indictment.  Despite the fact that I had put in five months in one of his hits then have the work wiped out completely by the deal, I was pleased with him and his information.  He always had answers for me, or at least, he knew where to look.

    I followed the directions to the meeting place he had left on my voice mail and found myself at a rather seedy looking club with posters of crouching schoolgirls taped to either sides of the entrance.  I couldn't complain about the location.  Last time, he had set the meeting place at some leather bar even Vice wouldn't go into.

    A couple of young women dressed in small white shirts and blue plaid skirts greeted me even though I was still in middle of the street checking the address.  In exaggerated bubbly voices, they asked if I would like to have a date.

    "We'll take good care of you," one of them promised and took my arm.  The other one took the other arm and both tugged me toward the doorway

    "Of course you will," I said.

    A skinny young man with his hair greased back and tied into a ponytail opened the door for us.    All of the working girls, most of them in their early 20s, wore identical tight white shirts which had been buttoned down to display their cleavage.  Their small plaid skirts were hiked up high enough to reveal the slightest trace of their panties.  There was a stripper on the stage stripping off her school uniform for a circle of businessmen that sat a few feet away.  The place reeked of alcohol, cigarettes and ironically, sexual deprivation.

    "What would you like?" The girl who had clung onto my right sleeve asked.  The other one pressed her face against my chest.

    "I'm here to meet a friend," I said to them and pried my arms from their hands.  I scanned the room and found Little Joe sitting in the far corner nursing a bottle of beer, staring at the stripper.  I excused myself, promised the girls I would ask for them later and walked to the booth.

    "Nice place," I said as I slid into the booth.  I had a partial view of the stage.  Little Joe took the good seat that had the full view.  "Makes you feel like you were ten again, when you were peeking at the smut mags in the convenient store."

    He shrugged and drained his beer.

    "I think they're kind of cute.  I've always had a thing for small plaid skirts," he said and gestured for one of the girls to come to our booth.  "Maybe if you put something like that on next time we meet, you might get the information for free."

    "Then I'll just wear the one your mother left in my apartment last week."

    "Just remember to shave your legs first."

    A girl in uniform with a small round tray and frilly apron appeared.  In a disgustingly sweetened voice, he ordered a pitcher of beer and a burger.  I asked for a glass for the beer.

    "And sometimes, I try to lure little boys to sit on my lap in the park," Little Joe said when the waitress walked off toward the kitchen with our order.

    "Whatever," I said and fished out one of the manila envelops in the folder I was carrying.  He opened it and slid the picture half way out of the envelope.

    "He's too expensive for you," he said as he placed the picture back into the envelope.  "One of these girls here's about your range."

    "So you do know him."

    "In this kind of business? Of course."  He took out the picture and looked at it again.  "Very nice piece of ass and a hell of a great fuck, I was told."

    "He was."

    "You didn't."

    I shrugged.  I told him about the visit to Kanryu's club, the note and that night.  The food and beer came between the story. He listened carefully, taking in each word as he ate and drank.

    "Saitoh," he said finally, a few minutes after I had finished speaking.  "Just be grateful that you had a good fuck out of this and didn't leave the Hotel in a body bag.  When someone at Aoshi's level got sent out.... "

    Joe didn't finish the sentence.  He sighed and shook his head.

    " You need to take a break from Kanryu's case before someone a little less generous finishes Aoshi's job."

    "Tell me about him."

    "Why? You think you can save him?"

    "I can't save anyone who don't want to be saved.  He walked away from me that night.  Anyway, I want to know why he didn't finish his job.  He must have wanted something from me."

    He looked to the stage and watched the stripper dance for a few minutes.  The song ended for this dancer and another one came out to take her place.  She was also dressed in the same outfit and appeared to be dancing to a similar song.

    "About three years ago, there's a cop that went under into Kanryu's setup.  He got close.  As matter of fact, within a year, he was already working the inner security for Kanryu.  One of your cops sold him but Aoshi interceded," he said, his eyes still focused on the dancer.  "To make the long story short, the cop got out alive but Aoshi paid for it."

    He looked back at me and took a long drink from his glass and emptied it.

    "You saw one of his punishments," he said as he refilled his glass. "That tattoo on his back."

    I was not even certain why, but I started to feel sick.

    "What else did Kanryu do to him?"

    "Not sure," he replied and refilled my glass.  "He disappeared for nearly a year. Most people thought Kanryu had killed him until he suddenly resurfaced in the usual scenes.  From what I can recall, Aoshi didn't do as many hits as he used to do.  He had a lot of sex with people important to Kanryu's business.  That seemed to be his primary function from then on."

    "And now he's let another cop go..."

    "Kanryu won't kill him," he said.  "Aoshi's always been his favorite.  If Aoshi didn't have the looks, he would have been groomed to be the heir."

    "Define the meaning of being Kanryu's favorite for me," I said.  "There's a severe difference between being pegged for an heir and being made into a company whore."

     "I don't really understand all of the details of their relationship or why someone like Aoshi stays with that idiot.  I do know Kanryu has some kind of." He paused for a moment to search for the appropriate word.  "...unhealthy complex with Aoshi.  Possessive is not quite the word for it, although that's the sum of it.  Kanryu became a little insane when Aoshi turned on him when he'd let the cop go.  He couldn't bear Aoshi being unfaithful to him, but Kanryu couldn't bring himself to kill him either."

    "I want you to find him."

    "And you'll do what? You think he'll just run back into your arms when he sees you? I didn't figure you for the kind that would fall for a good lay."

    "I don't like to owe anyone anything."

    "Owe who what?" He said.  "Aoshi.can't be saved.  He will live longer if you leave him alone, Saitoh."

    He handed the envelope back to me.

    "Kanryu will kill him if he felt he would lose Aoshi to anyone else."

    "I'm not trying to save him or have him."

    "No, of course you're not."

    "Take off your clothes..." Kanryu said quietly as soon as Aoshi closed the door behind him.  Aoshi drew in a deep breath, held it and focused on the serene scene of crimson horizon of the dying day behind Kanryu's desk.  Aoshi stripped out of the dress shirt and pants--his mind absent from the act as he did so.

    "Come," Kanryu said as he pushed the plush leather chair from the desk.

    Aoshi walked to him in small measured steps; his eyes continued to watch the dawn through the panoramic windows.  It was mindless distraction he needed to control his nerves.

   "I will end your punishment if you can tell me--" Kanryu said.  "Why couldn't you kill him?"

   Aoshi stopped an arm's length away from Kanryu.

   "I don't know," Aoshi whispered.

   Kanryu reached forward and gathered Aoshi to him.  Aoshi grimaced as Kanryu's cold fingertips traced the raised lines along his thighs and lower back.

   "Tell me something.  Anything."

   "I don't have any excuses."

   "You never do," Kanryu said and kissed the flat plane of Aoshi's belly.  "Or have you gained a taste for pain recently? You don't seem to mind being whipped."

   "Merely accepting the consequences of my actions..." Aoshi said.

    "Do you love me?"

    Aoshi cocked his head slightly to catch the last scattered light from the sun that peeked around the Tokyo Tower in the distance.

    "Yes, daddy..." The words came out of him in the dull tone that he had been trained to speak when he was a child.  An obscene game he had grown used to.

    "I want to forgive you..."

    "I am not looking for forgiveness." Aoshi said, and almost smiled.  This kind of conversation was also a tired game Kanryu and he had played for years.

    "So what do you want from me, when you do things like this?"

    "I don't know," came the usual reply.  Aoshi readied himself for Kanryu to strike him, as he had always done when Aoshi gave him that answer.

    Kanryu took in a sharp breath but refrained from raising his hand this time.  The flicker of anger seemed to have left as soon as it came.  Something else had replaced the predictable anger.

    "Do you remember what I had told you when I took you from that black market?" Kanryu said; his voice was edged with bitterness.  "When I took you from that wretched cage?"

    "Yes."

    "Did you want to go back into that cage again?"

    The remark made Aoshi shrank inside.  He did not understand the precise meaning of the threat but it struck a dread in him.  Aoshi's hand curled into fists at his side.  He refused to let the thread of fear to take hold in his mind.

    "Did you like it better when you had to serve men hour after hour, then be thrown back into that small pen?"

    "No..." Aoshi said in an even voice.

    "I think you're lying to me," Kanryu said.  He stood and pressed Aoshi down on the desk.  Aoshi let out a small wince--surprised by the icy surface of the oak desktop that embraced his backside.  "I think you liked being fucked by dozens of men everyday.  I am not giving you enough cock--is that why you turned on me?"

    "Stop...." Aoshi gasped, suddenly aware of the intense pain that had risen from the base of his spine to the back of his throat as Kanryu pushed his fingers into him.

    "Stop? Isn't this what you want?" Kanryu said, almost screaming.

    Aoshi bit back his cries, letting it die in his throat.

    "Little whore..." Kanryu whispered under his breath as he unbuckled his pants and pulled down the zipper.  "Maybe I ought to have you raped by a couple dozen men every day...would that make you happy?"

    Aoshi heard his own stifled scream when Kanryu pushed his erection into him.  His body had refused to open to Kanryu's invasion--making the penetration difficult and painful with every slight thrust.  Aoshi clawed at Kanryu's arm, trying desperately to push him away.

    "Why are you fighting me? You obviously liked being fucked, and now I'm giving it to you..." Kanryu pushed hard and lodged himself inside Aoshi completely.  A warm moisture had started to wrap around his cock, then came the slight coppery scent.  Kanryu smiled.  He had torn Aoshi.  A fitting punishment.

    Kanryu's hands rose to cup Aoshi's face.  Although he could not see his face clearly through the dark, he felt Aoshi's wet face.  The small rivulets of tears collected at his fingers, then spilled down further.  An inexplicable rage swept through him.

    "Why do you make me do this to you?!"

    Kanryu struck Aoshi hard across the face.  Aoshi took the blow without resistance and without a sound.

    "Why are you crying?" Kanryu said.  "Are you afraid of me?"

     Kanryu's fingers slipped from Aoshi's face down to his throat.

     "Yes...you should be afraid..."

    Kanryu tightened his hands around the small throat.  Aoshi's body tensed at first, then writhed fiercely to fight the suffocation.

    "It's time you learn how to beg, Aoshi..." Kanryu said, his grip tightened as he continued to plunge in and out of Aoshi brutally.

    Kanryu's fingers pressed harder against the delicate columns of the slim neck; the nails bit into the flesh and began to draw traces of blood.  Aoshi's struggle slackened, then ceased suddenly.  Kanryu came out of the fog that had seized him, then released his strangle-hold on Aoshi's neck.  At first, Kanryu was held by panic.  He leaned forward to feel for Aoshi's vital signs.  For a few moments, he could not find any.

    "Aoshi..."

    Kanryu felt for a pulse by the side of Aoshi's neck again.  It was undetectable at first, and then the faintest trace of it came.  Kanryu kissed Aoshi's mouth--further assured that Aoshi was alive when he felt slight breaths escaping through the slightly parted lips.

    Kanryu broke out in a frenzied laughter, an errand tear escaped from the corner of his eye.  He picked up Aoshi's limp body and held it in his arms, stroking the sweat-dampened hair lovingly.

    "I won't lose you..." Kanryu whispered. His eyes fixed on the crescent moon that had finally appeared from behind the Tokyo Tower.  "I can't lose you...."

    Three weeks after we met at that Lolicon club, Little Joe delivered the goods at our follow-up meeting at another schoolgirl themed bar down the block. There's a no-groping rule posted by the entrance and there's several men with greasy hair and cheap suits standing against the wall to enforce the policy.

    "I'm beginning to sense a pattern." I said to him as I took my seat.

    "It's an affordable fetish." He said as he poured himself another beer from the half-emptied pitcher. "Nothing like yours."

    He retrieved a small white envelope from his jacket and handed to me.

    "He's in Paris now," he said as I opened the envelope and pulled out the folded paper and a photo. "He's been put to work at one of Kanryu's whorehouses there."

    I looked at the address handwritten in French and then at the photo of a gated mansion.

    "It's not a place you can get into," Little Joe continued. "It's one of them exclusive kind of whorehouses that entertain the wealthy. You know, the people who make several million more than you. He's been there for a week now, and my informant there has not seen him outside the place."

    "Is this work arrangement permanent?"

    He shrugged.

    "My guess is no," he said.  "He had been sent to a whorehouse like this in Germany for a couple of months, after he received the first set of tattoo.  Kanryu's creative like that, every punishment he comes up with for his dear son has to have some kind of insane meaning that only made sense to himself."

    "First set....?"

    Joe looked away at the group of working girls who had taken seats on the laps of four salary men at a corner table.

    "Saitoh, this case has become too personal for you...and I know this will end up very badly for you and for him, if you don't take a break from this..." Joe looked back at me, I've rarely seen him serious and it's kind of disconcerting when I do.  Perhaps because I know he's almost never wrong about his theories.  "He will die....and you'll lose your mind if he did."

    "I am not in love with him..." I began, then trailed off after hearing how ridiculous it was, defending myself.

    "I am not saying you are.  Aoshi has become something of a personal project of yours and with every little bit of information I give you on him, you become just a little bit more drawn to him.  Call it the "White Knight" syndrome or whatever you want to get out of this.  The cop that Aoshi saved? The asshole killed himself a week after he found out what happened to Aoshi.  Blew his goddamn head off with his own gun at work.  He was doing what you're doing now when Aoshi disappeared from the public--investing too much of the department resources and time looking for him.  No fuckin' plans on what to do with him, if he ever found him--just wanted him found."

    "If you object to helping me--"

    "You know I don't," he said, cutting me off.  "If you truly want to save Aoshi, then you will find a way to kill Kanryu.  That means you would have to be willing to trade in your badge for good, when you're ready to pull the trigger.  Or you should've taken up Aoshi's offer that night..."

    Joe finished his beer and placed the empty glass on the cardboard coaster.  He excused himself to use the restroom, perhaps only as a mean to leave me alone for a moment with my thoughts.  An anger swept through me the moment he left.  I knew he was right but I still refused to believe the scant choices I had left.  I scarcely noticed that the bar girl had taken the emptied beer glasses and replaced them with fresh ones from the tap.  I think the she asked me a question, but I couldn't understand her.  She finally walked away when I gave her an annoyed look.

    I stared at the French address--a storm of incoherent thoughts raging through my head.  I finally willed myself back into the present when Joe slid back into the booth and immediately started working on his beer.

    "This is all you've got?" I said, pushing the address and the photo back into the envelope.

    "For now," he replied.  "So you'll be going to Paris?"

    "Yes."

    He nodded.

    "There's a small café across the street from the club. The owner is expecting you."

    "That's fine. Thank you."

    "I still think you're making a mistake."

    "I know."

    "He must have been quite something to have you wrapped around his finger in just one night. Was it good enough to die for?"

    I got up and tucked the envelope into my pocket.

    "Don't read into my intentions, Joe. I am not planning to die for him."

    He smiled.

    "No.the intention won't be what will kill you, Saitoh." He said.  "If you see him again, the mark on the inside of his thigh..."

    I frowned, not wanting to hear the rest of his sentence. But I remained as I was.

    "That is yours."